Wishing Time Away

Back when I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. When I was in high school, I couldn’t wait to go to college. When I was in college, I couldn’t wait to fall in love, get married and have babies.

Almost immediately after I graduated college, I did indeed fall in love, but before getting to the married part, I finally began to realize I was wishing my life away rather than enjoying it. I came to this conclusion when my grandmother, who I was very close to, suffered a stroke that led to dementia. And I realized while there were many amazing things yet to happen in my life, by wishing time away I was wishing away some pretty amazing things too.

So, I tried very hard to sit back and enjoy the moment, not wish so hard for the next. Because often the next is wonderful, but it comes at a cost or a loss too. I wasn’t always good at enjoying, but slowly over time I got closer to “living in the moment” so to speak.

And then I decided to start submitting to publishers last year.

Do you see where this is going?

Soon I was(am) wishing away the days, the weeks, the waits. Sure, I was(am) writing in the mean time, but part of my brain is always wishing for the next contest finals announcement, for the twelve to sixteen week window to be up (although we’re now at the 25 week mark with my subbed partial). Waiting and ready for it to happen. The request for a full, the final in a contest, The Call.

But, I have to remember that even if I sometimes want to fastforward time, even if I was capable, I’d probably miss some pretty awesome things if I did.

Like for instance, today is MLB Opening Day! Go Cards!

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One thought on “Wishing Time Away

  1. Sorry to hear about your grandmother. 😦

    This post reminds me of the Adam Sandler movie where he has the remote control and he keeps fast-forwarding the “boring” parts of life and then he’s old and has missed it all. I never would have thought an Adam Sandler movie would make me cry, but I sure sobbed at that one!

    Living in the moment is an art.

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