Sometimes when I am writing, I feel this blinding need to hurry! The more I write, the more I submit, the sooner The Call will come. So I feel a driving force beyond my control. Forget the dishes! Forget seeing the light of day! I MUST WRITE.
I’ve been writing since I can remember and yet this obsession to hurry is very new. When I was a teenager/college student/not a mom I had plenty of time to write. But much of the time, unless it was November, I procrastinated. I watched TV, played computer games, read books… etc. etc. etc. I wrote only when super inspired or when it seemed like the thing to do.
Then I had my son, and my time got more limited. And then I lost my job and could only find a part-time one in replacement, so money got tighter, and suddenly I felt the need to hurry things along.
Part of that is a good thing. I don’t waste much free time anymore (free time is a lot rarer now that I have a kid). Sure, I occasionally fall into the internet’s time suck, but mostly I’m being pretty productive with my days at home (writing wise, NOT housekeeping wise). I’ve met all of the deadlines I’ve set for myself this year with time to spare, and I’ve written every day even on days when I didn’t have a lot of time, and I consider that something to be proud of. A very good thing.
But, this need to rush and hurry can lead me into the head in sand syndrome where I start to ignore the world around me. Where I feel the need to write or edit with every waking moment because maybe THEN I’ll get what I’ve been waiting for. That kind of rushing isn’t the good kind because it takes me out of my life and puts me only in my head.
So, more balance is needed. More reminders that I don’t have to do it all TODAY. Instead of trying to beat deadlines I set for myself, I need to start just trying to meet them. The Call will come when it comes, I can’t hurry it along by writing faster.