Crisis of Confidence

I think we all have a crisis of confidence many times throughout our lives. Times when we feel like we can’t do anything right, and times when it would be easiest to hide out under the covers and ignore the world around us.

I’ll admit, I go through my share of these times, and I’m not always strong enough to leave the comforting confines of my house.

Currently, I’m struggling through  writing one. Not just wondering if I’m really good enough to do this, but if I’m not wondering what the hell am I supposed to do to get good enough.

So far, I’ve continued to force myself to write. I’ve continued to get up and shower each day and work to keep up with my responsibilities. Even as my emotions are ricocheting through my head saying ‘neiner, neiner, you suck.’ I keep going.

But it’s hard when things get worse not better no matter how hard you work.

All year I’ve told myself, I just need one step in the right direction, one step closer to the goal,  and I’ll feel better about things. No encouraging things have happened, and if anything I feel like I’ve slipped further from my goal.

But, the year is almost half over and you know what? I’m still going. Maybe I didn’t need that one thing after all.