I honestly believe I am a good writer. I understand grammar,sentence construction, formatting, point of view, etc. I was always a good English student. Hell, I taught English for three years.
I used to think that was all I needed. I mean, I had ideas, I wrote well, voila: novel. Now the trick was finding the right publisher.
Turns out there’s more to it. Info dump, conflict, character arcs, GMC, etc. etc. etc. A million don’ts that I do. It isn’t just about being a good writer. It isn’t just about writing a story you love. It’s about a market, salability, agents, a changing publishing landscape, queries and synopsis. It’s about a million things I have determined to learn, but am consistently floored by how little I know.
I’ve reached a frustration point. Have I stopped writing? No. Have I stopped editing? No. Have I lost my confidence? Yes. Do I wonder if my WIPs from this year are worth anything? Yes. Am I tired of waiting? HELL yes.
I keep putting my head down, trying to learn and apply all this new information. I keep writing, editing, submitting. I haven’t given up, not by a long shot, but I feel beat down by the process. Honestly, I feel like a loser.
I know I’m not, but it doesn’t change that it’s the way I feel right now.
Nicole Helm 
It’s hard to keep it all straight, isn’t it? I do well until I’ve finished the draft and actually read what I’ve written lol
lol, Lacey. I am definitely the same way. I feel great WHEN I’m writing it. It’s the after that knocks me for a loop. =)
Nicole, every single one of us goes through this. And we go through this over and over again. I know your writing. I know how you write. Pardon my French, but it’s balls out. The higher the output, the higher the reaction to the bumps in the road. You know? I mean when I’m driving 60 mph and hit a speed bump my Jeep gets air and lands with a hard thump. When I do the same thing at 10 mph, it’s barely a ripple. I’m so not saying you should write at 10 mph. I’m saying that if you recognize you operate at a high rate of speed and you’re going to hit bumps harder than the rest, then you can be prepared next time. (And, crap, there is a next time.) Up and down. Up and down.
I’m a bit down right now too. I can’t seem to get into my new WIP. I’m letting life crowd the writing out, and I’m doing more hoping than acting to get things back on track. I feel lousy all the way around, and I know I need to stop the pity party and just write. But I also know that I get like this, and when I get like this it’s okay to coddle my mood, because I also know that following phases of gloom come phases of ultra prodution. Up and down. Up and down.
It’s a process. And while we’ll NEVER know everything, I believe we’ll eventually know what we need to know in order to put forth the best possible product as long as we keep moving ahead one step at a time, one hill at a time. 🙂
I believe in you.
E
Thanks, Elley. I especially like that last sentiment that eventually we’ll know what we need to. I certainly hope that’s true.
Life’s been hard on you this month, so I definitely think coddling is appropriate in this case, because you know you’ll keep going. We both do. And eventually, we’ll get there, even if sometimes we feel like a loser in the process. 😉