I honestly believe I am a good writer. I understand grammar,sentence construction, formatting, point of view, etc. I was always a good English student. Hell, I taught English for three years.
I used to think that was all I needed. I mean, I had ideas, I wrote well, voila: novel. Now the trick was finding the right publisher.
Turns out there’s more to it. Info dump, conflict, character arcs, GMC, etc. etc. etc. A million don’ts that I do. It isn’t just about being a good writer. It isn’t just about writing a story you love. It’s about a market, salability, agents, a changing publishing landscape, queries and synopsis. It’s about a million things I have determined to learn, but am consistently floored by how little I know.
I’ve reached a frustration point. Have I stopped writing? No. Have I stopped editing? No. Have I lost my confidence? Yes. Do I wonder if my WIPs from this year are worth anything? Yes. Am I tired of waiting? HELL yes.
I keep putting my head down, trying to learn and apply all this new information. I keep writing, editing, submitting. I haven’t given up, not by a long shot, but I feel beat down by the process. Honestly, I feel like a loser.
I know I’m not, but it doesn’t change that it’s the way I feel right now.